No Pain  No Gain
by ilovetvalot
Summary: After Garcia is shot  post-ep for "Penelope" , Morgan decides that a lesson in self defense is in order.


_**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been patiently waiting for our stories to be posted. We appreciate your support and apologize for any delays. Real life, however, has taken precedence! We always want to be able to provide you with quality stories and chapters, so our postings may be a bit sporadic over the next month.**_

_**Please...check out our new forum topic: A Fanfic Glossary! We want to know if you guys find it helpful and our topic thread "Our Stance on the 2010 Criminal Minds Fanfic Awards". We have also opened a Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior thread where you may discuss the show (respectfully, of course). We also have a forum announcing our fellow author's (Kathi1C) new IheartCriminalMinds blog. You can ask her questions and get directions on going to her site.**_

_**As always, we do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters that we so enjoy writing. If we did own them, we would have never had JJ leave!**_

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**No Pain, No Gain**

Being a blonde had never been her first choice…but ever since the first dye job in college, she had been hooked.

She'd tried red. She'd tried black during an unfortunate Goth period in her youth - so NOT her scene. Heck, once she'd even tried purple on a lark, the Midori Sours she was consuming helping to fuel that particular fire.

But she always came back to her Marilyn Monroe blonde.

They were supposed to have more fun...or so the song said. That damned lyrist had been such a big, flipping liar.

She was NOT having fun! She hadn't had fun for a month and a half now. And she wanted to know exactly what had happened to her movie magic mojo.

And glaring out the locker room door into the FBI's fancy schmancy gymnasium, the bright blue mats beckoning her mockingly, she sincerely doubted the fun would start today.

No freaking way.

"You can't hide in there forever, Sweetness," she heard a deep, achingly familiar voice call out from the other side of the door. "And don't think I'm not above comin' in there and gettin' you myself, girl."

Lips twitching, she knew her handsome hunk of chocolate would do exactly that if she didn't hurry up and swallow her trepidation and get her ample fanny out there. Looking ruefully down at the neon pink tank top and shorts she wore, she sighed. Probably not the most flattering colors for skintight clothes. But, dang it...she needed her bright, happy color pallet.

"Angel?" Derek Morgan called again.

"I'm coming! Keep your pants on," she hollered back. Or don't, she thought naughtily. A naked Derek Morgan might go a long way towards making this experience bearable at least. Pushing open the door, she smiled at him. "It took a while to convince my curves that this was actually my best choice in workout apparel, Handsome."

Pursing his lips, Derek whistled. "There's my hot mama. You ready?" he asked, gesturing at the mats.

"To tangle with you?" Penelope asked archly. "Anytime, lover. But to mock fight you as an attacker? C'mon, my brown faced Adonis...I don't think it's gonna work. I told you I can take a class down at my neighborhood community center," she whined.

Leveling a stern glare in her direction, Derek shook his head. "Look, Princess, it's already been established that I love you...and I do NOT ever want to sit beside your bed again while I watch you recover from a bullet hole in your gut. You work with a bunch of FBI agents...I think we...or I, as the case may be, can do a little better than the local instructor of some class, don't you?"

"Derek, the chances that this will ever happen again..."

"Don't even," Derek snorted, holding up a hand as he strode toward her. "Battle was a dick..."

"A dead dick," Pen added happily, never more relieved that a scum had been removed from the earth.

"But there are others out there like him," Derek continued, nonplussed.

"Yeah, but I'm never gonna be nutty enough to get myself in that position again," Penelope wagged a finger at him. "Besides...now I have a great big, strong protector in my corner, don't I?"

"You always had that, whether you realized it or not," Derek murmured, looping his arms around her waist, "but I wasn't there that night, Goddess. And I might not be there again someday. I want you to be prepared if I'm not."

"You realize that Battle shot me, right? He didn't grab me in a back alley," Pen grumbled as Derek dragged her toward the center of the gym.

"Yeah. This guy didn't. But some guy might eventually try. And you, Baby Girl, are gonna be ready for it," he declared. "And whatever you leave of that unfortunate bastard's ass will be mine," he smiled with teeth that gleamed. "Now, let's get started," he ordered with a wink.

XXXX

An hour and a half later, Penelope Garcia lay collapsed on the mats, a mass of sweaty hair and heaving breasts. She was sore in places she hadn't known existed. The love of her life had forced her to use muscles that she didn't wanna know she even had.

And _he_ had not even broken into a sweat. Not even a freakin' glisten.

"I think I hate you," she gasped as he pressed a plastic bottle of water into her slack hand.

"Sure you do," Morgan grinned, grasping her forearm to help her into a semi sitting position.

"I do," Garcia muttered around the lip of the bottle. "At least parts of me do," she grumbled. "Especially my ass! Do you realize how many times you pitched it on the floor?"

"Yeah," he nodded sympathetically. "But I'll make you a promise, Sweetness. By this time next month, it'll be you putting my ass in the floor half the time. I guarantee it."

"Oh, trust me, my Prince, your butt is gonna meet the floor a lot sooner than that," Penelope huffed, flopping to her back again.

"Now, baby," Morgan began contritely, his lips twitching with amusement.

Holding up a single finger, Garcia warned, "So help me, Morgan, if you say anything along the lines of no pain, no gain, I'll find a way to hurt you."

"Believe me, baby, Morgan replied, rolling to cover her sprawled body, "I find no gain in your pain."

"Make me a believer," Penelope dared him. "Take me home and kiss all the boo boos you inflicted on my defenseless body."

Pressing a kiss to her damp lips, Morgan grinned. "Now you're talking a language I'm fluent in, Baby Girl."

Surging to his feet with an agility she jealously admired, she took his proffered hands and allowed him to pull her to stand in front of him. "_And _I get to take pictures of you kissing my ass," she added with twinkling eyes.

"Kinky," Morgan chuckled as she pulled him toward the door. "I'm down with that."

And as they walked hand in hand toward the parking garage, Penelope Garcia knew that the pain was very definitely worth her gain despite her earlier words.

And she was willing to suffer.

Finis


End file.
